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Shades of Dysphoria

by Paco Dvoi

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1.
Celebration 02:48
Celebration’s not too far from here; Trumpet, tambourine and open ears. Guess it’s not too late to join their hymn. Sweet salvation for the kid within. My old friend with wings. Within I know that the night is open For some new high to make me sing. Within I know that my spirit is hoping To feel ecstatic when the voices dim Electric when new day begins. Blue-haired Bobby belts a song by Queen while sweet Celine serves up her sizzling cuisine I’m glad I found myself a cozy spot Right beside the cat named Mrs. Plotte My it sleeps a lot. A lot of times when I’m feeling expired I miss the flames of a musical crowd To heat me up like a ritual fire And send me risin’ through the infinite clouds I close my eyes and feel the melody’s shroud. (Bridge) Now and then I live a liftin’ flight And greet the gods above the urban blight My merry moments as a musical child Keep me facing fall, embracing the wild With a warm inward smile I’ll sing for a while And blend in my style.
2.
This old world keeps on turning And I’m part of it for a while The misfit in me keeps on yearning And I face the sky like a child. I don’t know where the winds do blow But I’m a witness to the dying green I don’t know where the seasons go But they’re tearing up my faded jeans. My old man he’s aging And his spirits carrying a knife He’s cutting out all the pages in The Bible of Stable Life I sense him feelin’ lighter and free Uplifted by a winged dream He’s never met me through my poetry But he’s soaring through the solar beams. No one knows how true love is born But it cushions the fortunate fall. A silent wish to feel forsaken no more unveiled in a shopping mall. See them teens in the music shop scene Strumming and making a song Hear them sing about their burning dreams Descendants of romantic dawn. This old world keeps on turning And I’m part of it for a while The misfit in me keeps on yearning And I face the sky like a child.
3.
Interplanetary Mary Interplanetary fog Interplanetary fairy Very, very distant god. Give me a reason to face disgrace with aum. Give me a reason to kiss my pain and hum. Interplanetary Mary With interplanetary job I’m feeling weak inside. I’m weary. Anoint me with your stellar gob. Give me a season to build a fortress home. Give me a season to feel real love and moan. Interplanetary Mary Interplanetary Hope Interplanetary Fairy Offer me your twisted rope Billions of us solitary Clobbered in a clouded age. Mama I don’t feel so merry wounded in my mental cage. I’m losing my will to believe in a thing called soul I think I’ll just bow down my head and try to gently roll. Interplanetary Mary Interplanetary hope Interplanetary Fairy Offer me your twisted rope.
4.
I’m sleepin’ on the edge of creation Sleepin’ on the edge of crime Sleepin’ with the boom box blarin’ Sleepin’ with my slippin mind I’m waitin’ without weighin’ My chances in ethereal climb Wavin’ without swayin’ Correctly to the ruling blind I’m dreamin’ of a correlation Between my station and the perfect scream Dreamin’ of the bitter sensation Of sickness in my beloved genes I’m sailin’ without sayin’ Precisely what I’m hopin’ to see Savin’ without slavin’ Just the basics and a portable tree Just the basics and a portable tree (Solo) I’m cravin’ deeper inhalation Kind of like the yogic sheep Cravin’ transformation But deliverance isn’t cheap I’m fadin’ without flailin’ As the member of some inner retreat; Fadin’ without failin’ Enraptured in a world of sleep With just my basics and a portable tree; Basics and a portable tree.
5.
Out of None 03:48
I feel a tension in my body. I’d have a kid man but it’s dodgy. The world we live in seems so out of control. I’m sorry if that sounded jaded. My 20th century blues has faded. And I'm more graceful though I’m heavier souled. Heavier souled. I’m holding Without knowing What’s to come. What’s to come. And there’s hope Making music out of none. Out of none. I hope I’m singing beyond 40 So I can face my way but sturdy. I’m not excited by conventional life. If there’s a reason for my living. I pray good God that it’s not sinking Sinking in a void of fears and lies Fears and lies. And I’m holding Without knowing What’s to come. What’s to come. And there’s hope Making music out of none. Out of none. Yeah there's hope making music out of none out of none out of none out of none out of none.
6.
More Alive 03:25
I haven’t shed a tear in years I’m feeling dry There’s something in my universe I can’t reverse A broken tie I wish I could feel more alive I’d love to be more than mind It’s hard to never cross that line I dream of a moment that’s more sublime I haven’t raised a child. Its wild The way things go. I’ve lost that sense of giving life Computer wife You’re feeling cold I wish we could feel more alive I’d love to touch inside your mind It’s hard to never cross that line I dream of a moment that’s more sublime I dream of a feeling that’s more divine. Bridge: Oooooh You haven’t earned a single thing Said inner king Until you begin Begin by singing who you are And what so far you’ve come to feel.
7.
It’s such a drain to always give in To your game Starry soul girl. All of us are making living While you complain About your poor world. Every little drink counts Every little smoke counts Every single knock on my door Every little please mounts Every piece of one ounce Every single night on my floor I was okay to be listening to you Just thinking I’d offer a break Now I’m through believing that My ears goodness can make Every little shot counts Every little hit counts Every single bang on my door Every little please mounts Every piece of one ounce Every single night on a floor Hey. I’m gonna break away. Done. I’m done. I’m done. I'm done. I am the one I blame. Selfless love I couldn’t give you. Starry soul girl, we’ve come to an end. One last thing I’ll put my faith in - The sharp sting when we split to ascend. Every little drink count Every little smoke count Every single knock on my door Every little please mount Every piece of one ounce evaporated out of my sore!
8.
Oh I know that we all disappear from Disappear from this life And yeah I know what all them with it people say: “Live the moment! Love the ride!” Man I swear that I would like to have no end To just move forward and not come back I’d love to break through the final bend And just relax Just relax The world’s astounding But nothing lasts Beyond a moment Beyond a flash The present moment’s gone so fast! Time for action. The chances pass. Boy, I think that we all have some kid inside Deep there watching things unfold I don’t know what instinct you’re enlivened by But I don’t feel right being told Told to hold up someone else’s cup of gold And raise a cheer like Man I’m Sold The city’s full of broken-hearted modern souls Who bought false wisdom from the old. Oh God. The world’s astounding But nothing lasts Beyond a moment Beyond a flash The present moment’s gone so fast! Time for action The chances pass.
9.
Adieu 03:47
Face to face at the threshold time to say what we both wanna to say life has cast a new dice roll maybe grace will come out of the gray Everybody's their own witness Everybody's danced a number in hell Everybody needs forgiveness to drink water from the life-giving well I do I do I do need to step out of the blue. I do I do I do need to say something to you. Maybe we have been relying on old times to keep us aflame babe there ain't no sense denying that the faith has faded away Love is not just sugarcane to suck on whenever you're down And it's more than hurricane of passion to spin you around I do I do I do is more profound than us two I do I do I do is not for us me and you Adieu
10.
Time & Bones 03:54
There are voices I remember I hear them echo at the back of my mind They talk of love in place of anger And disappear in a slippery climb They whisper life is paradise where sweetness lies compassion shines and anger dies There are choices I have never Understood but lived to finally regret They point to blinding human weather And make me sorry cause it’s hard to forget They show me strife Is part of life And people kind are not so kind they kill and dine I wish I could see heaven better And charge my vision up with beautiful gleam I’d love to move like drifting feather And dance with time so lightly nothing would seem Too sharp to hold Too big a load so rough a road nowhere to go just time and bones.

about

This album is dedicated to the memory of punk artist Gabriel Darvasi. He produced visual art and was the drummer of Lima-based punk band, Sayonara.

I wrote all 10 songs on Shades of Dysphoria over a 5 year period. The sound is minimalist. The songs are performed alone with an acoustic guitar, giving emphasis to the lyrics.

credits

released March 21, 2012

Lyrics, vocals and guitar by Paco Dvoi.

Additional sounds and embellishment by Lloyd Smiley and Paco Dvoi.

Entire album recorded in Lloyd Smiley's home studio in Ottawa.

Front cover image -"Atrapado"- painted by Gabriel Darvasi.

Graphic layout and aesthetic touch-ups by Defining Design in Toronto.

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Paco Dvoi Ottawa, Ontario

Paco Dvoi is a lyrically-driven artist whose songs and spoken word often touch on the mystery of life, the reality of death, the struggle for fulfillment, and the delicate state of the world.

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